Sometimes it's the little things....

That can turn a day around.

I really wish I was more eloquent with words. Sometimes I wonder if Mrs Bakalar, a memorable and inspiring English teacher I had in High School, would be impressed with anything I jot down these days. Then again it may not really matter that much in the grand scheme of things. Frankly, in a way, I write for my own sanity. Not sure if I give a damn what anybody else thinks. So there!

So let's see how eloquent (or not) I can be. 

Last couple of days have been a bit crappy. Really busy at work. Lots of stress. A couple of demanding clients. Feeling a bit unsure of my abilities. Venturing a bit into areas of tax law that I'm not as immediately familiar with. Piles of paperwork getting even bigger. Having to perform a few work duties that I really don't enjoy. Get the idea?

And it can be hard sometimes to overcome feeling sorry for yourself. You just want everyone to go away and leave you alone. You feel like you have to carry all the burdens upon your shoulders. And you're 57 years old now. You're pretty darn smart, and you're good at what you do, but you just can't quite carry the loads you used to. 

And in reality, I'm starting to realize that it's all just so much bull$hit! I don't want to carry all those loads I used to, and maybe that's okay!

So here's something to ponder.

I get home and there is this lovely woman who shares her life with me. It's been a crappy day, we're both tired and hungry, but she manages to make the time to cook up some dinner. And she puts that extra special touch of her love into it. And it is delicious. And I tell her so. 

We watch a little television together. We don't even say very much to each other because of fatigue, but we share the enjoyment of just being so utterly comfortable with each other. Thirty five years together can do that. 

Then later that evening I take our dog (and our cat) for a little walk. Not far, mind you. We had snow 2 days ago. It's not frigid, but cold outside. Heavy coat, hat and gloves are advisable, although the canine and the feline seem readily adapted to almost any kind of weather. 

But here's the thing. We are outside. In the elements. All of our senses are tuned in to the surroundings. We see the moon shrouded in some thin clouds. We smell smoke from some of the fireplaces in the neighborhood. We hear some dogs bark as we go by a house. We can sense that they are upset that they are confined to a back yard while the 3 of us get to roam freely. We feel the cold air on our faces, the snow on some paws.

It's life! It's real and it's exhilarating!

What happens at the office isn't!

We're out there experiencing the world. The cell phone isn't ringing or buzzing. Nobody cares about money in the bank or taxes that need to be paid.

And by the time we arrived back home, the day didn't seem so crappy. Didn't feel so inadequate. I forgot for awhile about some of the perceived demands and responsibilities in my life.

And I reminded myself that I'm okay, just as I am. 

I am enough! 

And so is Jayna, the woman that means so much to me. And so is Sophie (the dog) and Moe (the cat). Even Jake (another cat) is okay. He even jumped into my lap to help as I was tapping out these thoughts on the iPhone. Hard to beat a kitty on your lap, unless you don't like cats.

And I don't know for sure, but I'm sure that there's not a lot to be impressed with in this feeble little exercise from a vocabulary or grammatical standpoint......

But somehow I think Mrs Bakalar would say that it's just okay. 

Overall, this turned out to be a pretty decent day. All because of some of those little things.